Snippets of journals, notes and conversations from my solo travels across Singapore, Vietnam, and Cambodia

Some were handwritten, some typed as Notes in my phone, some shared as messages in conversations with friends

January 17th, 2019, 11pm: LAX to Singapore

Just took off to start an 18 hour journey. I leave in an excellent mood. Despite the emotional struggles of the past weeks, tonight has been full of the love and support of my friends. I left a good day of work and a challenging workout with Jeff to catch dinner with Shanti and Arthur. It’s so easy to share wth thek and they are so full of love. I may have been too reluctant to let the dinner end — by the time I made it to the airport the Singapore Air counter had closed. An attendant at a neighboring counter helpfully fetched someone from the back who was more friendly with me than I deserved as they printed me a boarding pass. As a bonus, they allowed me to carry on both of my bags despite them being clearly overweight. To top it off, a second, equally friendly attendant offered to escort me to the gate to ensure I arrived on time. She led me all the way through security to the gate where boarding was just about to begin. As she left me, satisfied that I world not miss my flight, I nipped off to grab a snack with my last few moments.

Full of the love of my friends and excited to have had a taste of adventure so early in the trip I found my seat excited for what lay ahead. Just in case I had any room to feel more grateful for my friends, Jenny accidentally butt-dialed our entire group chat into a video call. The smiles of Grace and Jenny, all the way from Shenzhen, further fueled me with confidence and joy for the life that I am thankful to live. Now off to adventure in Asia.

Listening to: Playlist — “Abhi”

Sounds like: “The Man who Has Everything” — Chance the Rapper

Saturday, January 19, 7:00pm, Vagabond Hotel, Singapore, to friends chat

Day one was a success!

I walked 11 miles

Saw a ton of the city which is beautiful

Then I went and got a massage and thought I’d head home before dinner but then

I stumbled into this dance showcase!

They also had a skateboard competition and a live band

I feel like I stumbled into some dope local culture

And it’s only 7:30! I have so much more adventure to have.

Saturday, January 19, 9:00pm, Bar Stories, Singapore, to friends chat

This place doesn’t have a drink menu

I said I wanted whiskey, he asked if I had a heavy or light dinner, and somehow my answer set him in motion

I can’t wait to see what I get

…

Whooaaaa

It looks like an old fashioned

But it’s spicy?

…

The spice comes from this homemade chili tincture

They buy chilis from the local market, use the flesh for cooking in the restaurant downstairs, and then put the remnants into a vodka base for two weeks! where it infuses in and gets super spicy

Then they add 2 drops to the drink and it’s like the whole drink is on fire

Super cool

Sunday, January 20, 11am, to family group chat

Me: Not dead yet!

Dad: Stop that, not funny.

Mom: Not funny. Don’t use that line again until you get in the plane home. But hi Brendan!!

Me: Mom, I did something just for you yesterday

Mom: What did you do for me?

Me: I stopped to take a selfie in the middle of the highway because I knew it would drive you nuts (pic attached)

Mom: Uggghhhh

Mom: Hahaha

Sunday, January 20, 12:30pm, hawker center, Singapore

Process for making Singapore coffee at hawkers:

Rinse glass with hot water
Put a bit of condensed milk in bottom
Add coffee from coffee pot sitting out
Add hot water on top to warm it up
Stir

Monday, January 21, 1pm, to family group chat

Me: I’m gonna move to Singapore

Me: This place is awesome

Mom: Nooooooooo

Mom: I remember you said the same about Ecuador

Me: I was right, I should have moved

Tuesday, January 22, 9am, Singapore, to family group chat

Brekkie in Singapore

(picture attached)

Grant: Damn, I bet you’re having just the best food

Me: I really am

Check out this dinner from last night

(3 pics of the previous night’s dim sum)

Grant: Oh man, that egg custard dessert looks unreal

Me: You know what?

It really was

Then I took a long walk through the city and found this spot to read (video attached)

Grant: I’m so glad you’re loving it

Me: It’s hard not to

Makes me want to quit my job and do this full time

There’s so much beauty and wonder in this world I can hardly handle it

Outside of this mosque (pic)

I found this little shop (pic)

And I got a little snack (pic of perrier and kitkats)

What could be better than a life like that?

Wednesday, January 23, 3pm, Ho Chi Minh Airport, to Grace

So turns out

That you have to do a separate application for a Vietnam visa in addition to an APEC card

Despite what the internet and my co-workers told me

So I am stuck in immigration

Adventuuuuuure

Grace: It’s not an adventure unless something goes wrong

Me: Well they might send me back

…

So here’s the thing

They booked me a flight back to Singapore

If a travel agent can rush through an emergency visa before it leaves in one hour, I stay in Vietnam

If not — I go back

I also tried to rush order a visa online but I think it will automatically fail because I’m currently in the country

Adventuuuuuure

…

The immigration guy has my passport

I’m just kicking it waiting for him

Also this might get expensive. I feel like I’m going to pay for this one way or another.

I think I’m just getting shook down at this point

If the flight actually leaves in an hour, I’d have to be on it by now

Grace: I wonder if he’s expecting you to bribe him

Me: yeppp

But I’m not trying to fuck up bribing an immigration official

So gonna see what happens

Adventuure!!!

…

Welp called his bluff for a $260 fee and will see if I get the visa I ordered sent to me via email

I told him I wouldn’t pay the fee

Sounded like too much

It may fuck me

…

A stewardess from Vietnam Air came to try to coordinate

She seems really uncomfortable

I told her I was waiting for a visa online and she’s like uhhhh… ok?

It’s quite possible the fee is legit

Pretty sure I’m getting sent back

I’m trying to stall to see if I get this visa

…

5pm

Headed to Bangkok!

Adventuuure

Adventuuuuuuuure

Thailand sounds fun?

Bad news

Vietnam Air won’t pay for it

…

5:15pm

Ok now I’m talking to the guy and he wants money again?

I was trying to book the ticket to Thailand and the lady went to immigration for my passport and he came back

Let’s see where this goes

7pm

I maaaaaaaaaaaade it

9:30pm

Vietnam baby

I’m in my Airbnb

Friday, January 25, 10:00pm, The Alley Cocktail Bar, Ho Chi Minh City, to Tim

I’m enjoying myself much more tonight

I’m actually at one of the bars I found last night

But much more calm. No need to “find” something.

Skipped the mess of all of the other places I tried last night

Today was pretty perfect

Coffee and reading all day. There really are some fucking incredible coffee shops here.

Some of the coolest in the world, I believe

Then I absolutely savaged myself at the gym

Where the manager gifted me a free membership for the duration of my stay

They only do monthly. No day passes. So when I told them I was 5 days only, they just gifted me a membership card.

Truly wonderful

Felt like I owed them the workout of my life so ran 3k, then did what would normally be two workouts on top of it.

I was almost sick by the end

Cleaned up and went straight to a dope fucking restaurant I had read about

Put my airpods in and was totally with myself for the duration of an incredible meal

Then a confident walk to the one great bar I found last night. It’s now slammed but I found a seat at the bar. And the bartender looks at me and says, “another old fashioned?”

What I drank last night

Felt like coming home

So I slowly enjoyed it and then rewarded he and I both with a single expensive glass of Japanese whisky

Which is where you’re finding me now

I love you man

You’re the only person in the world I feel like I’m sitting next to even when you’re in a different country

Friday, January 25, 10:15pm, The Alley Cocktail Bar, Ho Chi Minh City, to friends chat

Funny story of the night

I had dinner at a really cool restaurant called Secret Garden hidden away on the fourth floor of a walk-up apartment building

I got seated at a communal table but I put in airpods and really embraced solitude for a bit

At one point, an album came to an end and I hadn’t yet chosen another, leaving me able to hear my surroundings

I allowed myself to listen in surreptitiously on the conversation of the two women next to me, who had clearly gotten used to my inability to hear

The occasional comment about me, wondering what I was listening to, wondering what I was doing there

I gave no sign I could hear

Finally — “he really can’t hear us”

“Are you sure?”

Whispered, “Can you hear us?”

Then louder, “I like your airpods”

Now, with confidence, “I wish you’d talk to us!”

No response from me

Then, almost at a yell, “You’re pretty and I like your face!”

Followed by immense giggling

So I turn slowly

And say, “thank you,” quietly

Then turn back and slowly sip my tea while they die

Friday, January 25, 11:00pm, The Alley Cocktail Bar, Ho Chi Minh City, to Tim

Just had a very surreal experience

Right around the time that Jing and I started dating seriously, we saw the movie La La Land. It made a big impression on both of us and became a bit of “our” movie. We’d listen to the soundtrack, we took Kelly to see it played with an orchestra at the Hollywood Bowl, I bought her the songbook to play for me on piano — which she did

I haven’t been able to listen to anything from it since the breakup. Always skip it when it comes on shuffle.

Here, in this Vietnamese bar, the live performer chooses to play our favorite song

I sit captive for several minutes, fully immersed in it all. Thinking of her, of the film. Of how it’s ironic that we chose for our movie a film where the two lovers grow apart, choose separate lives, and redefine for themselves what the other meant to them.

A lot of life happened in the last five minutes, Tim

Saturday, January 26, 1pm, Ho Chi Minh City, to Tim

I’m about to get on this bike and I’m nervous as fuck

My stomach is all in knots

I haven’t ridden since I crashed

Also I’m in Vietnam

On a strange bike

On strange roads

And this ride is 4.5 hours long

I ordered food so I’m not hungry on the trip but I can barely eat

…

1:45pm

I’m still stuck at the rental place. I filled out the contract and paid but the bike won’t start.

2pm

Alright it’s happening

Peace dude

Saturday, January 26, Green Hope Lodge near Cat Tien National Park, Vietnam

Riding the 150km from Ho Chi Minh City to Cat Tien National Park is one of the more “adventurous” things I’ve ever done. The city offered no “easing in” period. From the moment I set out from the shop, I was aware of how little I understood of the rules of the road. Intersections were a mess of trucks, scooters and pedestrians. It took no time for my trust in Google Maps to be shaken. Its first instruction, presented from the tank where my phone was affixed, was towards a highway clearly bearing a “no motorcycles” pictogram. Near these highways designated only for larger vehicles and buses ran smaller avenues, each packed with the furious activity of a school of scooters. I did my best to flow among them, catching my breath when the highways and side streets would abruptly merge, bringing buses and semi trucks to bear on our swarm. At times, my map would guide me to cross one of these highways — the momentum of the crowd pushing from behind was all that gave me the courage to do so.

After over an hour and a half of this, the maze of HCMC gradually faded into a single, two-lane road. Now, a new fear took me as I watched buses and trucks play chicken in both lanes, relegating me to the shoulder. I had promised myself that I would be able to relax a bit once I had left the city proper, but that now seemed unlikely to be true. I will give it to the driver’s of Vietnam, they have ice in their veins. A steady stream of scooters accompanied me for the duration of my trip and the flip-flopped drivers looked calm and collected throughout. The best points were in the towns along the way, when the already crowded roads would teem with pedestrians and the occasional impatient scooter operating against the flow of traffic. At one point, I shook my head in rueful disbelief at a man daring the shoulder on foot, playing badminton with himself as he walked. I don’t know when, but I eventually realized I had relaxed considerably. I stopped seeing lanes, and just saw road. A bus may be hurtling towards me in my lane, blaring its horn, but there was plenty of lane left and I knew the horn was just to make sure I saw him.

Soon, another hour and a half had passed. I had begun to encourage myself for the ride, dreaming of the ice cold beer I would have earned as a reward upon arrival. Instead, I now received my true reward — the last 30km of my ride. This stretch was everything the earlier legs were not. Trucks disappeared from the road, leaving only the occasional scooter. The full heat of an overhead sun receded to the warmth of one setting. And in the more relaxed pace I found the beautiful countryside I had been seeking. I exclaimed out loud when turning a corner to see a beautiful river splayed out in front of me, it’s banks lush with jungle. My energy was renewed and I road the last hour with a smile on my face.

When I reached my destination, a smattering of cabins adjutting that same river, I did enjoy that beer. I let out a sigh. The weight of the day released in that exhalation was so tremendous that I couldn’t help but laugh out loud, and I earned a quizzical look from the receptionist. I had finished my big ride. Now I just had to do it again in reverse in two days.

Sunday, January 27, Cat Tien National Park

A short 1km walk from the lodge, the road dead ends at the river, the boundary line of Cat Tien. A $2 fee bought me a ride across on the small diesel “ferry.” I paid the fee and mentioned my desire to see Bàu Sâu, Crocodile Lake. She smiled in recognition and advised, “ferry” point point straight across the river, “bicycle left” point left, “walk right” gesture so.

Across the river I followed her guidance. To the left, for my bicycle. I had been told that a Jeep could take me to the walking trail, or I could bike an alternate route, about 9km, to the trail start. In the visitor center a cashier took the rental fee and sent me across the way to the racks of bikes. I picked out my companion for the day, a sturdy-looking mountain bike with no real suspension to speak of and a green and yellow colorway heralding its 80s vintage. A friendly assistant pumped air into the tires and placed the bike on the path for me. Arrayed in front of me was an impressively paved road, stretching out into the distance. With a wave back to the attendant I plopped my ass, still sore from yesterday’s long ride, onto the thin plastic seat and began my leisurely ride towards Crocodile Lake.

After a half mile, I became incredibly aware of the 90 degree heat, the humidity, and the thickness of my jeans. Soon after, a warm Vietnamese man walking the opposite direction called for me to stop in the visitor center, back the direction I had come. Without slowing, I hollered that I had, and he nodded and smiled and continued on his way.

After three quarters of a mile, I was beginning to regret the leg workout of two days prior. At mile 1.5, the paved road gave way to rough gravel and loosely packed dirt. By mile 2, I was completely at peace.

I have always loved the jungle. Here there are no neat rows of fragile trees lining the street, gingerly blowing in the wind in gentle unison. The dense green grows unruly here, defying the straight lines imposed upon it by feedble trails. The jungle is never quiet, never still. It chirps, squawks and hoots from every angle. The movement of unseen creatures rustles leaves, the plants themselves shivering in unrest. But the jungle is peaceful. It does not impose, it exists. The air itself is heavy, a warm embrace; the occasional breeze, a caress.

I rode for six miles without seeing another person or hearing a sound other than the wheels of the bike on the dirt and the symphony of the national park. Eventually, the ride was brought to a stop when I hit a locked barricade fence in the road, ugly with barbed wire. There was no apparent trail in either direction, no clear place to leave the bike. Was this the turn off to Bàu Sâu? Next to the gate sat a little guardhut outfitted with a desk, a bed, and no guard. It was Sunday, but surely there would be someone working to take the ticket they had sold me at the visitor center? I explored briefly off the path to both sides, but found nothing to indicate I was on a popular trail. I finally gave in and checked Google. Someone had posted a GPS recording of their journey to the Lake, and sure enough, it started with a six mile bike ride — six miles the other direction of the visitor center. I laughed at myself, remounted, and began the ride the other direction. Back near where I began I stopped for a lunch and a beer and consulted a map. I had ridden 12 miles, to the edge of the ecological center and back, and was no closer to Crocodile Lake.

By now the sun had to its midday height and the heat was brutal. I was still considering Crododile Lake, but my enthusiasm was waning. Still, it was too early to quit, so I had off again, this time in the right direction. I got about a mile before I saw a sign for a botanical gardens trail. That one mile had considerably weakened my resolve — I stopped for a walk through the gardens, leaving the bike at the side of the road. After a mile or so on foot, the jungle opened onto the river, a beautiful peninsula. A family was seated there, taking it in. We exchanged roles as photographers and I wished them good day, but not until hearing a recommendation for the Gibbon sanctuary. The last tour leaves at two, the father said, I bet you can make it if you hurry back.

When planning my trip to Cat Tien I made a choice between the Lake and the sanctuary. Both had been appealing, but the bike ride to the lake had won me over the no-effort preserve. Now, feeling I’d achieved my goal in that regard, the monkeys were sounding excellent. Another mile walk back through the gardens, another mile on the bike, and I arrived at the visitor center just in time for a tour.

The tour itself was quaint, from the single volunteer guide to the iMovie presentation at the end, complete with a soundtrack of “Let it Go.” But the ferry ride down the river alone would have been worth the $12 and the guide was well-informed. I left having seen three species of rare ape in a semi-free rehabilitation habit and, even better, having caught their rare territorial song. By the time I had returned back down the river, it was 4pm and I was sweaty and exhausted from the heat. I walked back to the lodge and promptly showered, shedding the jeans that I had work the last two days, worse for having suffered through the. motorcycle ride and now this jungle excursion. Still, the sun had not yet set and I had a bit more adventure in me still. I hopped on the motorcycle and set out to take in the countryside. My timing was perfect. The sun was just beginning to threaten setting and I got to enjoy it’s rays across the river which I kept over my right shoulder for a few miles. In contrast to the silence of the morning, I kept a bud in one ear, enjoying Bobs Marley and Dylan for my ride. 20 minutes in, the main road turned south, through quiet valleys and small citrus fields. The few houses I passed each had a fire of some sort burning, the smoke either sweet with barbeque or sickly sweet from the day’s trash. My ride ended as a town opened up before me. I stopped in a “coffee shop” and enjoyed a local beer in a hammock while taking in all I had done in a day. Finally, the sun nearly set, I got back on the bike and set on towards the lodge for dinner. I arrived in near darkness, my day complete.

Sunday, January 27, Green Hope Lodge

With the sun set on a long and tiring day, all of me is stripped away. In the remaining stillness it’s hard not to long for the comfort of the familiar.

Monday, January 28, 1:45pm, Ho Chi Minh, to Tim

Back in the city

Alive and well

By the end of this trip I wished I had more riding to do. Today was great.

None of the fear of the first day. I stopped fighting the bike, started to really enjoy it again.

I was 1.5km away from being back at the rental shop when I was stopped by the police.

I was speeding decently well. Paid a 150k VND bribe and walked.

Nice cap to the trip.

Monday, January 28, 8:00pm, Ho Chi Minh, to Tim

Dude, today I realized

You can pay 80k VND ($2.50) to take a Grab car and sit in traffic

Or you can pay 20k VND ($0.50) to ride the back of a scooter and cut traffic like a boss

You just have to survive

Tuesday, January 29, 1:50am, Ho Chi Minh, to Tim

Just met a strange gay man and a beautiful woman in a 7/11

Riding three up on their scooter to an unknown location

Might die

Peace

2:30am

I’m in a random beauty salon in Vietnam

Learning how to gamble

What a life

Wednesday, January 30, 2:45pm, Siem Reap, Cambodia, to Tim

You ever find yourself somewhere really epic, and you get an inappropriate song lyric stuck in your head and you keep laughing at how silly it is to be singing a song like that in a place like that?

I’m walking around the Angkor Wat

I saw that it was 80 degrees out this morning

80 degrees, when I tell that bitch please

Raise up off these N-U-T’s, ’cause you gets none of these

hahaha

Cambodia is the surprise highlight of this trip

Also this fresh mango for $0.50 is the shit

6:30pm

Holy shit I am hitting a wall

I rode 20 miles on a bicycle today

I have to say though, this city continues to delight at every turn

Thursday, January 31, 12:00pm, Siem Reap, Cambodia, to Time

Man, I never knew how much I liked riding a bicycle

This city is perfect for it

Been spending my final morning just riding around, hunting pokemon

Thursday, January 31, 5:00pm, Singapore, to Grace

Siem Reap is absolutely incredible

I was so sad to leave. I road the bike to the rental drop-off and was so reluctant to be done that I just went around the block a few more times before finally letting it go.

It was just exactly what I wanted

This whole solo travel thing is definitely for me

10/10 would keep doing

I kinda want to find a way to be a nomad

Friday, February 1st, 4:30pm, Singapore, to Grace

I’m so happy

Dance walking through Singapore on the way to a Pokemon raid

Put this in your ears (Free Animal — Foreign Air)

I’m just dancing on the sidewalk like a crazy person while I catch pokemon

I’m gonna live crazy more when I get home

My life definitely needs more dancing in it

Saturday, February 2nd, 1:45pm, Singapore, to Tim

I just walked to a coffee shop I discovered my first weekend in Singapore. As I walked in, the barista says, “You’re back!” and then brings me my order without having to ask

Perfect moment

I fly home tonight. Could cry thinking of leaving.

Part of me wants to make living here happen

But my idea of work and career ambition don’t feel compatible with it

Saturday, February 2nd, 4:00pm, Singapore

Note on Singlish

“Can/Cannot” — similar to Hawaiian pidgin, used standalone as a complete thought

“Lah” — phrase ending sound (“ya lah” — yes, “nah lah” — no)

Saturday, February 2nd, 10:00pm, Los Angeles, to Tim

Back in my apartment

Feels like the last two weeks were just a dream

Crazy how things that felt so vivid 10 days ago already feel like fading memories